My daughter is 2. Recently, she went from being mobile to being a monkey. Literally, if it is climbable, scalable, or within reach, she will scale to new heights. On her second birthday, she showed me how she was not going to stay in her crib anymore. I remember it vividly: I heard her struggling (we had already put her to bed), so I walked into her room. There she was, straddling the top of the crib rail, stuck. It was kind of funny, really. I looked at her and, with feigned wonderment, exclaimed: "Wow! Look at you! What are you gonna do now?" She was stuck and she knew it. If she fell back in the crib then she wouldn't be able to reach her goal (get out of the crib). If she fell out of the crib then she would get hurt and hit the floor hard (but would reach her goal). She squirmed; I let her squirm. I was attempting to teach her a lesson. She usually teaches me lessons, I've learned. Eventually, she fell back in her crib. I kissed her goodnight and left the room. It was about 2am (a few hours later) when I heard a distant but heavy thud. It was like someone had dropped a 20lb. sack of potatoes on the floor. "Oh no." I rushed in her room and, sure enough, she was on the floor. She wasn't stuck anymore. She was crying and she was frazzled. The next day, we switched to a toddler bed.
I love this story, not just for the memory, but for the application. I see myself in my daughter. I get stuck. Oftentimes it feels like a rut and spinning wheels or just discontent. Other times it's more like I'm on the edge of something; if I fall one way I fall back into something I don't want (like the safety of the crib). If I fall the other way, I could get hurt. Where the tension lies is in the moment I wait to make a decision. That's where I can get depressed, confused, complacent, intolerant, or just plain angry.
Those moments, the decision moments, seem to be like a state of limbo and sometimes I have waited way too long in limbo. If I get self focused and discouraged I tend to just stay there on the edge of the crib rail and I get miserable. Being in limbo makes me miserable. But, the stress of making the right decision is real. What if I make the wrong decision? What if I fall? What if I never get out of this blasted crib? Are you following my analogy, here? Being stuck sucks.
So, how do I get unstuck? Is it as simple as making a choice between one thing or another? Well, it can be. I've found that, most times, getting unstuck requires me to be reminded of my life mission. That usually is the catalyst to pushing me one way or another. This is emotional as much as it is practical. Sometimes, I'm stuck in a pattern of anger, sadness, feelings of worthlessness. The easy thing is to shove scripture in front of my face and just do my best to think positive. That really doesn't work for me. I need to be jolted in my state of limbo (stuck-ness). This always involves my mission in life: as a follower of Jesus, husband, dad, pastor (in that order). It's one thing to be reminded of my mission in life, and it is quite another to actively engage that mission. Disengaged (read: self indulgent, not moving) faith activates nothing.
Romans 12 says (as a follower of Jesus) to give my body to God as a living sacrifice and to stop following (or ignore) the patterns of other stuff (the world's pattern of life). This is a big edge. This is an edge of looking outside of me. This is a statement that is more than just positive, happy thoughts. Stuck= me focused on me.
So, where are you stuck? Faith? Friendships? Money? Self worth? Whatever it is, I promise you that if you can discover your God mission in the midst of all that stickiness, then you can gather the courage to get unstuck. It's often difficult, and this is no formula. This is transformation. Daily.
Monday, September 24, 2012
Thursday, September 06, 2012
How I Make Big Decisions
I've been fortunate to have made some major decisions in life, and not screw up too badly.
I think the biggest decisions have been:
- Where to go to school
- Who to marry
- Which job to take
- When to move
- Where to move
These types of decisions are never easy. I think, each time, there was a moment when I would look up in the sky (or at the ceiling) and just beg God to show me what to do. It went something like, "Ok, if you'll just tell me what to do, then I promise I will... (insert something absurd like pray for 3 hours every day)." Sidebar: some people pray three hours a day on purpose and those people are better than me.
Ok, back to reality. I don't go into big decisions lightly, especially now that I am a dad. Where to live, what to do, how much money to make (or say no to); all of these are decisions that affect more than me at this point. It was scary enough when it just involved me. Now there's all this adult responsibility. At some point in my life, I think it was about three years ago, I inadvertently felt an exponentially heavy weight of responsibility.
So, what to do? How to make these decisions? How much risk to take? I have learned that these moments, although monumental, come down to two things: values and discernment.
First thing: Values.
I can't make the best decision for my family if I don't know what we value. For the past few years, we have had goals (wants): finish grad school (my wife), be the best parents we know how, and make friends. These wants are all centered around our values. It doesn't take a formal family meeting to determine these, just a good memory. Simply answer this question: what is so important to my family that we are willing to be punished for it? Sounds scary, huh. Think about it. For us, we were willing to lose income and tighten our budget to help get Shauna (mom, wife) through grad school. Now, is the value grad school? No. The value is helping each other accomplish our wants (goals). About five years ago now, our family was willing to be uprooted (with some kicking and screaming) for me to take a job outside of Baltimore. The punishment, or so it felt, was an uprooting of comfort (leaving close family, leaving hometown, putting distance between us and close relationships, having to do the hard work of building new friendships). Why? We felt it was God's will? Absolutely. But, from a values standpoint, it was a big step for me to take the job because it moved me closer to a goal (want) of being an influential leader in a church.
Second thing: Discernment.
This one is a bit trickier and it is more art than science. There is a passage in the Bible, Revelation 3. In this chapter, John (the author) makes a statement about God. He says "God can open doors that no man can open and he can close doors that no man can close." This statement has become my prayer and mantra when making huge decisions. This statement about God says that his yes is always better than my no, and his no is always better than my yes. So, I pray this prayer: "God, make the open doors obvious. Make the closed doors obvious. If a door is opening, help me see and understand when to walk through it. In the same way, slam doors shut and help me not to force my own wants."
Obviously, if my family has values (that have been derived through history and prayer), then these will be valued in the doors that open and close. That's what I believe about God, anyway. I really think he guides our values (wants) and the journey of life. I see my job, as the spiritual leader of my family, as simply recognizing big decisions as moments where our values get stronger and where I sense/ hear/ see all the variables either opening or closing the door. And, I pray that God will be the master conductor of the entire show.
Finally, a story example:
When we were making the decision to move to Maryland (about five years ago), we made a demand on God. My wife and I, after prayer, said that we wouldn't move to Maryland if our house didn't sell. We basically told God what the open door should look like. Almost five years later: we've been in Maryland (we moved) and we still haven't sold our home in NC. BUT, God has provided a tenant to rent our home. In this economic quicksand environment, we have actually been able to make money on our home during this time and keep our investment. We've had a total of 2 months, this whole time, without a tenant. Last month, our property manager informed us that as of August 31 that our tenant would be moving out (end of lease). We prayed. We trusted God. Yesterday a new tenant moved in. Sometimes, we create our own doors and God gently reminds us that it takes a combination of risk and faith to discern the right doors.
We're not always perfect at this, but as we grow older, our values and discernment are becoming more clear. That's my prayer, anyway.
I think the biggest decisions have been:
- Where to go to school
- Who to marry
- Which job to take
- When to move
- Where to move
These types of decisions are never easy. I think, each time, there was a moment when I would look up in the sky (or at the ceiling) and just beg God to show me what to do. It went something like, "Ok, if you'll just tell me what to do, then I promise I will... (insert something absurd like pray for 3 hours every day)." Sidebar: some people pray three hours a day on purpose and those people are better than me.
Ok, back to reality. I don't go into big decisions lightly, especially now that I am a dad. Where to live, what to do, how much money to make (or say no to); all of these are decisions that affect more than me at this point. It was scary enough when it just involved me. Now there's all this adult responsibility. At some point in my life, I think it was about three years ago, I inadvertently felt an exponentially heavy weight of responsibility.
So, what to do? How to make these decisions? How much risk to take? I have learned that these moments, although monumental, come down to two things: values and discernment.
First thing: Values.
I can't make the best decision for my family if I don't know what we value. For the past few years, we have had goals (wants): finish grad school (my wife), be the best parents we know how, and make friends. These wants are all centered around our values. It doesn't take a formal family meeting to determine these, just a good memory. Simply answer this question: what is so important to my family that we are willing to be punished for it? Sounds scary, huh. Think about it. For us, we were willing to lose income and tighten our budget to help get Shauna (mom, wife) through grad school. Now, is the value grad school? No. The value is helping each other accomplish our wants (goals). About five years ago now, our family was willing to be uprooted (with some kicking and screaming) for me to take a job outside of Baltimore. The punishment, or so it felt, was an uprooting of comfort (leaving close family, leaving hometown, putting distance between us and close relationships, having to do the hard work of building new friendships). Why? We felt it was God's will? Absolutely. But, from a values standpoint, it was a big step for me to take the job because it moved me closer to a goal (want) of being an influential leader in a church.
Second thing: Discernment.
This one is a bit trickier and it is more art than science. There is a passage in the Bible, Revelation 3. In this chapter, John (the author) makes a statement about God. He says "God can open doors that no man can open and he can close doors that no man can close." This statement has become my prayer and mantra when making huge decisions. This statement about God says that his yes is always better than my no, and his no is always better than my yes. So, I pray this prayer: "God, make the open doors obvious. Make the closed doors obvious. If a door is opening, help me see and understand when to walk through it. In the same way, slam doors shut and help me not to force my own wants."
Obviously, if my family has values (that have been derived through history and prayer), then these will be valued in the doors that open and close. That's what I believe about God, anyway. I really think he guides our values (wants) and the journey of life. I see my job, as the spiritual leader of my family, as simply recognizing big decisions as moments where our values get stronger and where I sense/ hear/ see all the variables either opening or closing the door. And, I pray that God will be the master conductor of the entire show.
Finally, a story example:
When we were making the decision to move to Maryland (about five years ago), we made a demand on God. My wife and I, after prayer, said that we wouldn't move to Maryland if our house didn't sell. We basically told God what the open door should look like. Almost five years later: we've been in Maryland (we moved) and we still haven't sold our home in NC. BUT, God has provided a tenant to rent our home. In this economic quicksand environment, we have actually been able to make money on our home during this time and keep our investment. We've had a total of 2 months, this whole time, without a tenant. Last month, our property manager informed us that as of August 31 that our tenant would be moving out (end of lease). We prayed. We trusted God. Yesterday a new tenant moved in. Sometimes, we create our own doors and God gently reminds us that it takes a combination of risk and faith to discern the right doors.
We're not always perfect at this, but as we grow older, our values and discernment are becoming more clear. That's my prayer, anyway.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
The Problem of "they"
I encounter this conversation too many times each month:
"I was talking with some folks, who don't want to be named, and they think..."
Whether you're a pastor, like me, a teacher, a used car salesman, a nun, a candidate for president... someone will always have a complaint or suggestion.
Sure, it could be a valid concern, complaint, or warning... but, let's be honest; 99% of the time we're not dealing with life or death when it comes to these conversations. Most of the time, for me, it's the music volume or temperature in the church's building.
Sometimes the comments are harmless. Sometimes they're hurtful complaints. Every time they're nameless, faceless, bloodless balls of content that need diffusing. Anytime I am approached by a faceless, nameless "they", I feel a tinge of danger. This communication is one sided; simply, dictatorial. And, it isn't really healthy at all.
Let me ask this question: if someone wants me to know what they're thinking but nothing about who they are, does that seem deceptive? It does to me.
So, what do I do? Well, I used to ignore them, ahem, I mean, "they." One time, I thought about using social media and several communications platforms to hold "they" more accountable. I can be very good with words, arrogant and mean, even.
After several years (10+) of working in God's church, I think both of these strategies are dumb.
Consequently, there needs to be a reply. The reply needs to be compassionate, loving, empathetic. Regardless of how I feel, there must be a mature response to the collective, elusive, anonymous "they."
But how do you communicate with a person you don't know? How do you do that with compassion? How do you interpret the statements and look for truth?
Here's a few strategies, yes, strategies, I use:
1. Refuse to have a conversation with anonymous.
Seems easy, right? As soon as I hear "they" through someone else, I, as lovingly as I know how, interrupt. I usually say something like, "I know it takes a lot of work to say something for someone else, but I need you to know that I am not interested in having one way conversations. If the person you're speaking for would like to talk to me, I would be happy to speak with him (her)."
Now, the person will persist, and I will have to be assertive. Again, this is to be done in love. Assertiveness with love is helpful. Arrogance with personal agenda is damning (for leaders, especially). Do this enough times and "they" get the hint.
2. Make myself available.
One of the easy ways to not have these conversations is to never be present. Avoid people at all cost and these conversations will end because I am inaccessible.
The truth is, if I have these conversations in love, there can be some growth that happens. Imagine it, the elusive "they" finally gaining the courage to have a conversation. Embracing relationship is always more vulnerable than avoiding it.
Even if I disagree with the content, the relationship is the point. Remember, we love people not because of who they are, but because of who we are: children of God saved by the love of Jesus.
3. Don't take it personal.
Most of the time, the "they" will shout their message so loud you will hear it. Many times, it will hurt.
In these times, I go to a little folder in my desk (or an email or FB message) where I collect affirming content. Scriptures, notes, cards. There's so many good things I am doing for God's kingdom. It is very easy to look at the canvas and recognize a speck over the beautiful piece of art.
Remind yourself consistently of who God says you are. Don't take a faceless, nameless, bloodless person's words too seriously. Heck, take God's word more seriously than anyone else's. This takes reading, time, and practice. Do that and you'll think differently.
"I was talking with some folks, who don't want to be named, and they think..."
Whether you're a pastor, like me, a teacher, a used car salesman, a nun, a candidate for president... someone will always have a complaint or suggestion.
Sure, it could be a valid concern, complaint, or warning... but, let's be honest; 99% of the time we're not dealing with life or death when it comes to these conversations. Most of the time, for me, it's the music volume or temperature in the church's building.
Sometimes the comments are harmless. Sometimes they're hurtful complaints. Every time they're nameless, faceless, bloodless balls of content that need diffusing. Anytime I am approached by a faceless, nameless "they", I feel a tinge of danger. This communication is one sided; simply, dictatorial. And, it isn't really healthy at all.
Let me ask this question: if someone wants me to know what they're thinking but nothing about who they are, does that seem deceptive? It does to me.
So, what do I do? Well, I used to ignore them, ahem, I mean, "they." One time, I thought about using social media and several communications platforms to hold "they" more accountable. I can be very good with words, arrogant and mean, even.
After several years (10+) of working in God's church, I think both of these strategies are dumb.
Consequently, there needs to be a reply. The reply needs to be compassionate, loving, empathetic. Regardless of how I feel, there must be a mature response to the collective, elusive, anonymous "they."
But how do you communicate with a person you don't know? How do you do that with compassion? How do you interpret the statements and look for truth?
Here's a few strategies, yes, strategies, I use:
1. Refuse to have a conversation with anonymous.
Seems easy, right? As soon as I hear "they" through someone else, I, as lovingly as I know how, interrupt. I usually say something like, "I know it takes a lot of work to say something for someone else, but I need you to know that I am not interested in having one way conversations. If the person you're speaking for would like to talk to me, I would be happy to speak with him (her)."
Now, the person will persist, and I will have to be assertive. Again, this is to be done in love. Assertiveness with love is helpful. Arrogance with personal agenda is damning (for leaders, especially). Do this enough times and "they" get the hint.
2. Make myself available.
One of the easy ways to not have these conversations is to never be present. Avoid people at all cost and these conversations will end because I am inaccessible.
The truth is, if I have these conversations in love, there can be some growth that happens. Imagine it, the elusive "they" finally gaining the courage to have a conversation. Embracing relationship is always more vulnerable than avoiding it.
Even if I disagree with the content, the relationship is the point. Remember, we love people not because of who they are, but because of who we are: children of God saved by the love of Jesus.
3. Don't take it personal.
Most of the time, the "they" will shout their message so loud you will hear it. Many times, it will hurt.
In these times, I go to a little folder in my desk (or an email or FB message) where I collect affirming content. Scriptures, notes, cards. There's so many good things I am doing for God's kingdom. It is very easy to look at the canvas and recognize a speck over the beautiful piece of art.
Remind yourself consistently of who God says you are. Don't take a faceless, nameless, bloodless person's words too seriously. Heck, take God's word more seriously than anyone else's. This takes reading, time, and practice. Do that and you'll think differently.
Wednesday, August 08, 2012
Coaching
About 3 years ago (sheesh, time flies), I read a blog post by Tim Stevens, and I had one of those, "hey, this could be cool" moments. I forwarded the blog post to my boss, Dan, and probably said something like, "hey, this would be cool."
Long story short, Dan agreed. We made the decision to send me off for some coaching. Since coming to ALC, back in 2008, Dan and I have worked together in expanding my role and growing me as a leader. I am very blessed to have such rich relationships that value my development.
So, I went. For several months I went. Flying into South Bend for this coaching session (South Bend is literally on the way to nowhere) at Granger Community Church. I got to meet Tim and his whole team. They paid for dinner a few times, too. I got to hang out with some high capacity folks. I learned a lot. I still have all the books and notes and they've been a great help (the book, Narcissistic Leaders was my favorite).
But, you know what was the best part, to me, anyway? The network. I'm now in a network of other executives and we actually respond and follow up with each other. One dude in particular, Jeff, I've followed up with quite often. Sometimes for advice, sometimes to pray for him, sometimes to just laugh. I've emailed and facebooked my network of friends (executive pastors) either individually or as a whole at least every month. There's value in relationships.
That's been the best part for me. GCC's coaching networks have been a great value. If you're a leader, pastor, intern..., and you need a network and a solid, practical approach to ministry, check them out.
I whole-heartily endorse and encourage some type of coaching relationship for anyone who leads. Leonard Sweet made this thought provoking statement, and I happen to love the challenge of it: "Our well-being depends on our ability to connect with other humans." Not only in fundamental development, but in leadership, and especially in faith: relationships matter.
If you're interested, check out Granger's networks and coaching opportunities. Their organization is called wiredchurches.com. And, if you're really interested, here's some direct links to some coaching networks coming up:
- Executive Pastors Coaching Network
- Connections Strategy Coaching Network
- Communications Strategy Coaching Network
- Launching in February: EnterMission Coaching Experience
Long story short, Dan agreed. We made the decision to send me off for some coaching. Since coming to ALC, back in 2008, Dan and I have worked together in expanding my role and growing me as a leader. I am very blessed to have such rich relationships that value my development.
So, I went. For several months I went. Flying into South Bend for this coaching session (South Bend is literally on the way to nowhere) at Granger Community Church. I got to meet Tim and his whole team. They paid for dinner a few times, too. I got to hang out with some high capacity folks. I learned a lot. I still have all the books and notes and they've been a great help (the book, Narcissistic Leaders was my favorite).
But, you know what was the best part, to me, anyway? The network. I'm now in a network of other executives and we actually respond and follow up with each other. One dude in particular, Jeff, I've followed up with quite often. Sometimes for advice, sometimes to pray for him, sometimes to just laugh. I've emailed and facebooked my network of friends (executive pastors) either individually or as a whole at least every month. There's value in relationships.
That's been the best part for me. GCC's coaching networks have been a great value. If you're a leader, pastor, intern..., and you need a network and a solid, practical approach to ministry, check them out.
I whole-heartily endorse and encourage some type of coaching relationship for anyone who leads. Leonard Sweet made this thought provoking statement, and I happen to love the challenge of it: "Our well-being depends on our ability to connect with other humans." Not only in fundamental development, but in leadership, and especially in faith: relationships matter.
If you're interested, check out Granger's networks and coaching opportunities. Their organization is called wiredchurches.com. And, if you're really interested, here's some direct links to some coaching networks coming up:
- Executive Pastors Coaching Network
- Connections Strategy Coaching Network
- Communications Strategy Coaching Network
- Launching in February: EnterMission Coaching Experience
Thursday, August 02, 2012
Making the Jump
This post is a bit different than most of my normal ones. It is about me trying to save money.
Last May, I was teaching about fiscal responsibility at my church. I hinted at the step I was planning to take to reduce my cable bill. Little did I know, many emails and conversations would ensue. It seems a lot of people want to reduce their bills as well but keep the same quality (or comparable) entertainment options at home. In each convo, I was told something like, "Please let me know what you end up doing. The whole idea of internet based streaming is scary and I have no idea what to do but I want to reduce my bill, too." Ah, the wonderfulness of first world problems.
I understand. The price for cable/ satellite, awesome fiber television programming has tripled since I was in college (ten years). Also, there's a lot of highly intelligent people, myself humbly included, who simply aren't geeky enough to keep up with the technology.
So, in an effort to keep things simple, I will do three things to let you in on my decisions to make the jump:
This was a process and it took a good chunk of time. Unlike my summers in college, I don't have a large bank of time to dedicate to testing and experimenting and researching. So, what would take some people a week took me about four months. But, today (literally) the switch is being made. Let me also add this is just my experience. I'm not interested in being annoyed by critique, here. I'm only offering this for information and the decisions below are what works for us. That being said, don't try to engage me in a convo on how I should be sending money to a missionary or how if I had waited another week I could have purchased a brand new prototype that shaves my legs while I watch tv. Maybe you don't have a clue of what I already give to missionaries or that I have had laser hair removal on my legs...
Ok, here goes.
After the switch costs: $976 first year ; $816 each following year (depending on whether I can find comparable less expensive internet)
Savings:
First decision: get rid of Verizon FIOS.
This one was easy. I'm sick of paying $1440 a year for something I can get cheaper, and with more options. And yes, I called them and tried to give them a chance to reduce their costs. They didn't want to.
Second decision: Comcast.
This was difficult. For starters, there's not a ton of high speed internet options. We have had Comcast before (didn't have any issues except with home telephone, which we now haven't had for about 3 years, and haven't missed it AT ALL). Here's some key factors in my decision to go with Comcast:
With Comcast, you can purchase your own equipment or lease theirs. I decided to buy my own and save money over time.
Fourth decision: Apple TV
I can hear the collective groans and see the eye rolls of all the purists out there. It's true, I drank the Apple kool aid long ago and it has been sweet. For all the talk of the price, consider that, with macs, I don't need a lot of software upgrades/ updates, security patches, and tech support. I would argue I have over time, paid less money than some of my lovable dell supporters out there (or LINUX, whatever). Plus, we're still using a mac I purchased about 7 years ago without an issue. And yes, we prefer big fat crayons to sharpened perfected artistic pencils. Sorry for the soapbox. Apple TV... why? Well, for a few big reasons:
Bottom line: we did what works for us. If we did not have the apple products already, I would have went with a Roku over the Apple TV and Lucy would have had to get over it. Additionally, if Comcast had not offered the basic television package, I would have went with the same cost for internet and would have had to go with an HD antenna for network channels/ local channels. It was a strike of luck/ blessing that the basic tv thing was offered.
Last May, I was teaching about fiscal responsibility at my church. I hinted at the step I was planning to take to reduce my cable bill. Little did I know, many emails and conversations would ensue. It seems a lot of people want to reduce their bills as well but keep the same quality (or comparable) entertainment options at home. In each convo, I was told something like, "Please let me know what you end up doing. The whole idea of internet based streaming is scary and I have no idea what to do but I want to reduce my bill, too." Ah, the wonderfulness of first world problems.
I understand. The price for cable/ satellite, awesome fiber television programming has tripled since I was in college (ten years). Also, there's a lot of highly intelligent people, myself humbly included, who simply aren't geeky enough to keep up with the technology.
So, in an effort to keep things simple, I will do three things to let you in on my decisions to make the jump:
- Give an overview of before and after regarding costs and savings
- Give some insight into how I arrived at these decisions
- Give some opinion on how other options (that were considered) would have affected me.
This was a process and it took a good chunk of time. Unlike my summers in college, I don't have a large bank of time to dedicate to testing and experimenting and researching. So, what would take some people a week took me about four months. But, today (literally) the switch is being made. Let me also add this is just my experience. I'm not interested in being annoyed by critique, here. I'm only offering this for information and the decisions below are what works for us. That being said, don't try to engage me in a convo on how I should be sending money to a missionary or how if I had waited another week I could have purchased a brand new prototype that shaves my legs while I watch tv. Maybe you don't have a clue of what I already give to missionaries or that I have had laser hair removal on my legs...
Ok, here goes.
Overview of before and after regarding costs and savings:
Before the switch costs: $1440 a year- Verizon FIOS internet and TV: $120/ month; $1440/ yr.
- Average $10/month video rentals (redbox, on demand)
After the switch costs: $976 first year ; $816 each following year (depending on whether I can find comparable less expensive internet)
- Comcast internet (fast speed at cheaper price): $50/ month (for six months, $60/ month following); $660/ yr.
- Complimentary basic cable with internet package (network tv and free to air channels)
- Added Netflix subscription $8/ month; $96/ year
- Purchased my own WiFi modem (Comcast charges $10 a month to lease; more info on this decision below): $120
- Purchased Apple TV (after much research and hands on testing; more info on this decision below): $100
Savings:
- $464 First Year
- $624 each additional year (maybe more depending on whether I can find comparable less expensive internet)
Insight into how I arrived at these decisions
First of all, we live outside of Washington DC. Two things: internet is expensive here (more so than say, Charlotte, NC, compared to what I paid there before we moved) and you have to have high speed internet to make then jump we're looking into.First decision: get rid of Verizon FIOS.
This one was easy. I'm sick of paying $1440 a year for something I can get cheaper, and with more options. And yes, I called them and tried to give them a chance to reduce their costs. They didn't want to.
Second decision: Comcast.
This was difficult. For starters, there's not a ton of high speed internet options. We have had Comcast before (didn't have any issues except with home telephone, which we now haven't had for about 3 years, and haven't missed it AT ALL). Here's some key factors in my decision to go with Comcast:
- Doubled the speeds I had with FIOS for about $40 a month cheaper than FIOS
- Included basic cable package (I was going to install HD antenna but no need now)
- I can cut more costs by using my own equipment (WiFi modem). FIOS doesn't allow you to use their service without their equipment charges (lame).
With Comcast, you can purchase your own equipment or lease theirs. I decided to buy my own and save money over time.
Fourth decision: Apple TV
I can hear the collective groans and see the eye rolls of all the purists out there. It's true, I drank the Apple kool aid long ago and it has been sweet. For all the talk of the price, consider that, with macs, I don't need a lot of software upgrades/ updates, security patches, and tech support. I would argue I have over time, paid less money than some of my lovable dell supporters out there (or LINUX, whatever). Plus, we're still using a mac I purchased about 7 years ago without an issue. And yes, we prefer big fat crayons to sharpened perfected artistic pencils. Sorry for the soapbox. Apple TV... why? Well, for a few big reasons:
- AirPlay and Mirroring: we can wirelessly mirror anything on our ipad, iphone, or mac to the TV. That means Lucy (my daughter) can watch DocMcStuffins as much as she wants without us having to have a Disney subscription (thank you itunes apps). This functionality is not as easy on other devices.
- Price: at $100 it isn't the cheapest option but it is far from the most expensive.
- Netflix and Hulu Plus are both available (as of June 2012)
- HomeSharing: I can watch or listen to anything I have already purchased with my itunes account.
Opinion on how other options (that were considered) would have affected me.
HD Antenna for free to air network channels:- I considered this and tested it.
- It isn't as reliable as a hard connection (even with roof antenna).
- I would have went with this option had Comcast not given the free basic cable package.
- It would have cost me an additional $200 (both for antenna and receiver, I have a flat panel HDTV but no HD receiver, old model)
- - Cost effective ($50-$100 depending on style/ functionality you want)
- - Didn't allow us to mirror or access Disney content (big deal when you have a 2 year old)
- - Didn't test, just read reviews
- Purchased and tested with Boxee Live TV (built in HD antenna and tuner)
- I Hated It
- Interface was a big learning curve and content was pretty similar to what Roku offers, except that when you use the internet browser function (which would have been extremely cool), I found that certain companies (such as Disney) blacklisted Boxee making their sites unviewable. I did some research on this and, apparently, Boxee is not affectionately embraced by normal people (translated: unless you are an internet or IT guru, Boxee will frustrate you).
- Cost: $300 total
- I already own one.
- Works with Netflix, Hulu Plus, and YouTube
- I could use this for sure, but would not get the up to date movie rentals I want or be able to use mirroring or home play functionality.
- Frankly, internet here is pretty comparable and expensive (IMHO)
- I considered satellite internet, 4G box with my wireless plan, and a few other things. The best deal I could find was with Comcast. And yes, I know their customer service sucks.
- TiVo or Simple TV (for DVR/ recording stuff. Although, I don't know if I will actually need it since most of the tv will now be on demand anyway.
Bottom line: we did what works for us. If we did not have the apple products already, I would have went with a Roku over the Apple TV and Lucy would have had to get over it. Additionally, if Comcast had not offered the basic television package, I would have went with the same cost for internet and would have had to go with an HD antenna for network channels/ local channels. It was a strike of luck/ blessing that the basic tv thing was offered.
Thursday, July 05, 2012
Thoughts on preachers...
I've been around preachers all my life. Most of my exposure has been to the ones in churches. No doubt, preachers exist in about any context you can imagine.
I work in the church, and have sometimes been called a preacher. Sometimes, I shudder at that. I like to think of it as teaching, not preaching. I think it's because "preaching" (as a verb) has a negative connotation in my head (and to several people I know). It's one thing to PREACH at someone and quite another to invite a person into a conversation. It's one thing to declare TRUTH and another to discover it. I would like to think of my role in the church as one that helps to facilitate a conversation rather than create a monologue where one simply approves/ hates the content. Maybe my definition needs work...
Now, several "preachers" may read the above and immediately try to "preach" or "parent" me into thinking a different way. That's really not needed (or desired by anyone, btw). I think most of us humans are sick of being "preached" to and desire honest dialogue (even if it is a teaching format). We need relationships. We need the back and forth.
I was reading about one of the "preachers" in the Bible, John. Apparently, he was the first Baptist (pause for apathetic courtesy laugh). Pay attention to what the Bible says about him and his job in Mark 1:
Here's what I picked up on his preaching:
Whether you "preach" (internal cringe) or you have heard preachers, I think these points are especially interesting. I not only notice what John does, but what he doesn't do...
...that's another post.
I work in the church, and have sometimes been called a preacher. Sometimes, I shudder at that. I like to think of it as teaching, not preaching. I think it's because "preaching" (as a verb) has a negative connotation in my head (and to several people I know). It's one thing to PREACH at someone and quite another to invite a person into a conversation. It's one thing to declare TRUTH and another to discover it. I would like to think of my role in the church as one that helps to facilitate a conversation rather than create a monologue where one simply approves/ hates the content. Maybe my definition needs work...
Now, several "preachers" may read the above and immediately try to "preach" or "parent" me into thinking a different way. That's really not needed (or desired by anyone, btw). I think most of us humans are sick of being "preached" to and desire honest dialogue (even if it is a teaching format). We need relationships. We need the back and forth.
I was reading about one of the "preachers" in the Bible, John. Apparently, he was the first Baptist (pause for apathetic courtesy laugh). Pay attention to what the Bible says about him and his job in Mark 1:
1-3 The good news of Jesus Christ—the Message!—begins here, following to the letter the scroll of the prophet Isaiah.
Watch closely: I'm sending my preacher ahead of you; He'll make the road smooth for you. Thunder in the desert! Prepare for God's arrival! Make the road smooth and straight!
4-6 John the Baptizer appeared in the wild, preaching a baptism of life-change that leads to forgiveness of sins. People thronged to him from Judea and Jerusalem and, as they confessed their sins, were baptized by him in the Jordan River into a changed life. John wore a camel-hair habit, tied at the waist with a leather belt. He ate locusts and wild field honey.
Here's what I picked up on his preaching:
- SOUND: His preaching was classified as thunder in the desert. Noticeable. Audible.
- TEXTURED: His preaching went ahead of Jesus: in other words, he set the scene. He told of the coming GOOD NEWS. His job was to make the road smooth and straight for the coming of Christ. Smooth and straight. Easy to follow. Clear.
- VISUAL: his message and appearance was out in "the wild." What does that mean? His preaching was out there for everyone. He had a "go to" mentality. (He also wore a "habit" much like that of the definition of the dress of the nun) Accessible. Seen. Obvious. Appearance Matters. Not Overdressed (yeah, IMHO).
- FOCUSED: He preached life-change that leads to forgiveness. Wait, I thought forgiveness was the change? There's some mystery, here. Jesus is coming to bring forgiveness. However, there's this big prelude indicating that being prepared is a part of life change. Mysterious. Powerful. Focused. Clear.
- CAPTIVATING: People "thronged" to him. He baptized them. He created the back and forth context. There's a big difference between being functional and being captivating. It's called design integration, or story generation. The artists of the world love this. Design. Interactive. Conversation. Story. Next Step.
Whether you "preach" (internal cringe) or you have heard preachers, I think these points are especially interesting. I not only notice what John does, but what he doesn't do...
...that's another post.
Friday, June 08, 2012
Want to lead? Learn from my friend, Carol.
My friend Carol leads hospitality teams at our church (ushers, greeters, baking, coffee bar, special events, welcome center, security, breakfast for all volunteers on Sundays, parking...). I'm tired thinking about this list of responsibilities. I love watching her lead. She has fun. Her team loves her. Here's what I've noticed:1. Carol delegates: She doesn't do everything. She doesn't want to and she doesn't need to, either. Carol has about 5-6 direct reports that lead her teams. She gets along with them. They laugh. They have good chemistry. They are scatter brained. They're having several 5 minute meetings all the time to touch base. She's very accessible to her team leaders.
2. Carol smiles: It's like she actually enjoys herself while she's leading (imagine that!). People on her team are always smiling. If stuff trickles downhill, then a positive attitude and genuine positivity is like a waterfall. You can't serve on one of Carol's teams without getting affected. At the last all church event, her teams did the Cupid Shuffle.
3. Carol works hard: She isn't necessarily doing all the heavy lifting. But, it's hard to find Carol unless you're on her team. Her team always knows where she is located. She is always walking around and checking on her team, resourcing and helping. She is working hard to lead, but she's also ready to pitch in and move a tent during an event. She is the first to arrive and the last one to leave.
4. Carol coaches: She isn't about to put a third stringer in for the final shot, but she is coaching that third stringer like he is about to get that chance. She effectively matches people with skill and personality on her teams. Chemistry is more important than competence to Carol. Let's make sure these people fit while they do mission together. And, along the way, her and her leaders come alongside to help people. There's a great support system. The third stringer may be getting that shot after all this coaching.
5. Carol sees the big picture: Sure, sometimes things go wrong. Sometimes people hurt other people, including Carol. But she has this uncanny advantage on most leaders, she sees the bigger picture. Bad things, hurtful things, annoying things... these are all distractions and setbacks. They don't take her or her team away from the purpose or vision. She helps her leaders and other teammates see this as well. This is not something you can really teach, it must be caught by a leader.
So, there ya go. I think Carol is one of the best team leaders I've ever seen. I'm glad she's on our team at ALC. We're a better overall team because of it. You can learn from Carol.
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